love for a father.

dear dad,

it was four years ago yesterday that i last talked to you.  it was a monday morning and i was running out the door to girls camp as i said a quick "bye" to you.  what a gorgeous day that was up in the mountains!  the camp that i was at was beautiful and the lake was clear and cold.  the drive home that night was one to remember.  i think i stared at the starry night the entire ride home.  remember how we used to talk about that song that luther vandross sang called "dance with my father"?  i remember you really liked it.  well, it came on in the car, and i really wished you were there to listen to it with me.  it means something else to me since that night, and i'm not embarrassed to say that i tear up a bit every time i hear it.  you taught me how to dance, way back in the day, and i wish all the time that i could just "dance with my father again."  it was so fun to dance with you.  hey dad?  thanks for teaching me how to dance.  it's such a huge part of me, and i can't help but thinking you might have something to do with that.

it's been a long few years.  high school came and went, and my first year of college, too.  the family is growing up and changing so much (step-father and siblings, too).  can you believe that spencer is eight already, and nathan twelve?  hannah has your legs, and is already three inches taller than i am, and i think she's still growing.  she's beautiful, but definitely in the "fog" sometimes.  they're all beautiful.  i'm out here in provo still this summer.  ryan is, too, and steph is here visiting from home.  you know what?  i just realized the other day that i'll never live in gig harbor again, unless someday i go back with my husband, which is really quite unlikely.  it was a perfect place to grow up, and it will always be my hometown.  sometimes i miss it, with all it's beautiful trees and rain, harbor and family around.  i'm glad to be here, though.  i'm glad to be moving forward, and i'm trying hard to do just that.

well, dad.  i love ya.  it's been way too long, and there are about a million things i'd like to talk to you about.  not all super great, but so it goes.  but just so you know, i love you.  you were the greatest dad i could have growing up, and i'm grateful for all the years we had together.  you taught me so many good lessons, the greatest being that families are the most important thing.  maybe it was because it was a lesson you were learning, too.  sometimes, i'll be honest, it's difficult to remember just the good things, but i'm trying because i know how much you're trying.  i hope you know i adore you for that.

you're not on this side of the veil with me, but you're still my dad.  you're still my hero.  i still love you.  forever, dad.  forever.

keep up the good work, okay?  make me proud!

always yours,
lara