Five things about me, right now.

I keep thinking I'm going to retire this blog. I look at it every once in a while, and if there's ever a moment that I sit down to write... nothing comes out. I think that's a product of a stressful life. So retire or not, I'm back for today. This is my life (the really honest version):

1. // I moved from Provo back home in December, just right before Christmas. It scared the crap out of me, the not knowing what to do next part. But man, that was the best decision I've made in a while. I think when you get to the point that you realize you're not very happy where you are, you need to just take a leap (of faith) and change something. I'll be honest, I wouldn't suggest moving home as that leap, but that was kind of my only option at the moment.

2. // Next option for me was moving to Germany as an au pair for a year. A great option, obviously, for a thousand reasons. So that was the plan, and I'm even a scoundrel enough to admit to having met the family I was going to go live with. But then I said no, because what? Oh, because life.

3. // Searching for a job is the worst. I'm two years into college, I'm hardly qualified to do a thing, and my stepdad is urging me to do construction work. Um, hello? So if someone wants to step in and find a job for me so I don't have to keep looking, that would be awesome. I'll bake you a cake or something. (That's right, I just went there.)

4. // I might as well admit to my improved dating life now. Naturally the thing to do upon moving home, and being clueless about my future, was to date someone. And I am so not that girl to just jump into something like that. Oh, well.

5. // Here we go. Prepare yourself, because I'm not sure how this one is going to go. Um. Okay. Here's the thing: I'm okay with admitting that I was pretty inactive in my church for a while, and I'm also okay with admitting that I've had a lot of questions about it, about deity, about life. But I kind of just ran down that path and realized it wasn't working out so well for me, and so I decided to change it. So when people (read: person) asks me at the end of the day what I've done, I usually surprise myself and say something about how I was reading the scriptures again (what!) or something along that same vine. And you know what? I think this is a big part of why I'm happier these days. Guys. The whole religion thing can be tough. It's tough to figure out for some people. And I'm one of them. But that's okay, because I'm trying. We just take it one day at a time, right? And day by day little bits of happy will creep in.

And because youtube is an awesome resource, watch this. I've watched it like three times this week.