on days like today...

Every once in a while I have those moments, or sometimes days, or just one day, or an hour or two, or a few minutes, or just a couple of seconds where my heart just cracks open all over again and all I can do is cry. Today is that one day, that day where all I can do is cry.

All it took was looking at a wonderful picture of "The Buttless Boys". It breaks my heart to see the pain in Ryan's eyes, to hear my brothers wake up crying because of a bad dream or because they miss him so much. I hate that my little brothers don't get to grow up knowing their dad; that they were so young when he died. My sisters, too. They hurt all the time. My family means the world and more to me, and I hate to see them hurt. It seriously sucks growing up without a dad around, especially our dad. I just don't understand sometimes. I know for a fact that Heavenly Father knows what He is doing, that He has a plan for us, and that He loves us so tremendously, but sometimes that doesn't make it easier. It just doesn't. And on days like today... all I can really do is open up a little bit and cry.